


dirty

by ravenously



Series: Momentz [1]
Category: Gorillaz
Genre: (only a mention though! no actual vomit), Drug Use, Dysfunctional Family, Gen, Hangover, Press and Tabloids, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-18
Updated: 2017-05-18
Packaged: 2018-11-02 02:26:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10935048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravenously/pseuds/ravenously
Summary: 2D got a little too hungover before the photoshoot for Crack. Murdoc, unfortunately, has a solution that leads to a very.... Strange cover photo.





	dirty

“I’mma hurl, mates.” 2D’s voice was slurred and mumbly even more than usual, the high-pitched intonations turned down and sloppy. He got like this, sometimes, but. Well, this was extreme, even for him. Either he was still hungover or he lied when he mumbled that he was in ‘right top sober shape’ earlier that morning. 

“If you ‘hurl’, yeah, I’m gonna push yer damn face in it.” Murdoc groused. He, too, was hungover, but that was a normal occurrence for him during press days. Any day, really. When your wake-up call was a screwdriver or some irish creamer, the sudden lack of it didn’t do well for anyone’s mood. 

2D groaned and leaned forward, his face squat against the front seat. They’d rented one of those nice luxury SUV’s while they were in the city, and the sun-tinted windows were coming in handy. Even so, he looked miserable. 

“Muds, I ain’t… I ain’t jokin.’ I need somethin.’” His voice was even quieter than usual. 

“I said shut u-”

“No you didn’t. Be quiet, Niccals. He don’t need the noise.” Russel looked at the back seat, glaring holes at both of them.

“Oh, he’s _fine,_ Ho-” Murdoc paused, watching as 2D groaned and started rubbing his palms against his eyes. Uh-oh. That was a shitty sign. The last thing they needed was to cancel the photo shoot because their lead singer got a crippling migraine and had to lay down for three days. Shit. “Fuck.” 

He rustled around his bag, trying to find something, as Russel periodically glanced back at the two of them. His annoyance, too, turned to worry when he saw how bad off 2D was looking (”ironically green,” Noodle muttered, when Russel asked her to pay attention to what was going on).

“I told’ya, I’mma- I feel like _shit_ ,” 2D mumbled. He sounded pathetic, but then again, he usually did when he was sick.

“Can you at least wait until we _get_ there? We’re gonna be late. You can- You can hurl in the bathroom, or something, right?” Russel asked, and was met with just another groan. 

Murdoc was still rummaging through his bag (something he seemed to take only to press circuits like this and seemed to have a little bit of _everything_  in, if only he could find it), and finally came up victorious just as 2D rolled down the window and let out a disgusting bout of dry-heaves. 

Luckily, nothing came out, but still; Noodle gagged and Russel turned a little green at the noises he made. 

Murdoc pulled the singer back with a jerk, grinning triumphantly. 

“What’chu smilin’ for?” 2D asked plaintively. “All’a us are gonna look green in the pictures now.” 

“Nah, nah, mate, see? Just take this. Here, here, drink some water with it.” Murdoc handed him _something_ , along with a water bottle. 

2D, maybe as a testament to some of his more nefarious practices, didn’t even question it, merely downing it and then drinking about half the water bottle to wash it down. He numbly handed the water bottle back (Murdoc, not expecting it, just let it drop to the floor of the slowly cluttering SUV), and pushed up against the back of Russel’s seat once more.

“You give him some ibuprofen, Muds?” Russel asked.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, somethin’ like that.”

“Good. We’re pulling in now. Hang in there, ‘D, you’ll feel better soon.”

2D gave a weak thumbs up through the middle divider of the front seat, and Murdoc just laughed. 

–

An hour and a half later and Russel finally keyed in to the fact that whatever Murdoc gave 2D, it was _not_  ibuprofen. 

Sometimes, no matter how hard 2D tried to hide it, when he was _not_  sober, his eyes would… Almost seem to reflect light differently. And now was no exception. Glassy and unfocused though they were, as usual, there was something _more_  about them that meant no picture with him completely bare-faced would ever hit the stands. 

Murdoc just laughed about this fact, while Russel gave a world-weary sigh. It took Noodle to just slap a pair of glasses on his face and be done with it. 

The real problems didn’t arise until they were actually standing in front of the green screen and being told to pose. It wasn’t _too_  abnormal for their gang to be dressed weird; especially 2D. Interviewers hadn’t just grown used to their, ah, unique way of answering questions, but their unique clothing styles, too. 

So shirtlessness, glasses, jeans and a propeller hat, while odd, held a kind of avant garde style to it that Crack could appreciate. 

2D being unable to stand up on his own, on the other hand, was an issue. Not to mention his incessant giggling. 

“I’m confiscating that ‘bag’ of yours after this,” Russel said out of the side of his mouth, grabbing the back of 2D’s pants when the man started to slide down, like his legs couldn’t hold him up. 

“Aw, fuck off, he isn’t tryin’ to puke now, is he? I count that as a _marked_  improvement. 

“Hm.” Russel hummed, annoyed, and when he got 2D standing again, said, “’Least you can do is help hold him up.”

They all fidgeted for a while, trying to get maneuvered, while 2D giggled and generally flailed (”like a giant idiot,” as Murdoc put it, and Noodle fixed with “an idiot you _created,_ Muds, so I don’t know what that makes you”). 

The photographers clearly weren’t getting anything good, and they were all getting _increasingly_  annoyed, so eventually Noodle just huffed, stood back and watched the boys fall and then nodded. “Russ, you stand there, let Chee lean against you. Muds? Stand in front of him, help pin him in. I’ll keep him straight.” 

The resulting image? Weirdly posed and not altogether composed, but at least everyone looks alive. Murdoc and Russel even look like they’re approaching happiness, and 2D, while looking manic as hell, is at least presentable. More than usual, maybe; it’s amazing what the lack of anxiety does to that kid’s smile. Noodle, for her part, thinks she looks…. Well, odd, but it could be worse. 

They could all be taking pictures stinking of 2D’s vomit. 

Still. They’re all going to have to have a very long, very serious talk about the presence of anything other than ibuprofen in the house (or on the road) from here on out. Regardless of hangover status.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Obviously, this is based on the Crack cover, seen here- [Crack](http://crackmagazine.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/76.jpg)
> 
> Come visit me at [Tumblr](http://plasticbeachcasio.tumblr.com). I don't bite; Much. 
> 
> This is part of, probably, the same universe as the other fic I am working on, yes, but since it's just some press circuit thing, it doesn't quite fit into the main 'story' that I'm working on. Still! Thought you'd get a kick out of this ;)


End file.
